An Open Letter, Why I’m moving.

So I’ve always had wanderlust in my eyes, but I’ve always had romance in my heart. Have you ever heard the song “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey?.. I’m absolutely sure you have. If not Google is thy friend. Anyway that song sang to me on so many levels. I always wanted to be that girl who got on that midnight train going anywhere.

June 2009. For me graduating high school was going to be my moment to do that.. Where did I want to go? The west coast. ANYWHERE ON THE WEST COAST. Since 8 when I would travel there most summers it was always a goal to move to California, so what an easy transition I thought to make my next life move across this huge country. But then… Love said Na. At the time my high school sweetheart wasn’t going away for school, and naturally I wanted to be by him. Also my mother was pregnant with her second child so I also didn’t want to in a sense “abandon her” so I made the decision to stay on the east coast for college. Still far away enough to have new life experiences but close enough to home where I or the people close to me could see each other as needed.

May 2013. 4 years later, my next chance ! I was graduating college and the big question was what next? .. So I applied for Peace Corps; completed the application, asked my references for references, and was writing my 3 essays. Then my boyfriend at the time says “it’s bad enough you’re going to be in NY and there’ll be long distance, but now you’re talking about going to another country”.. That plus my mentor at the time being against the Peace Corps I opted to not go through with my application. I wanted to go, but I also saw so much potential in my at the time relationship and decided to stay.

September 2014. Two break ups, 3 promotions in a job I just ended up falling into later, I just felt un-fulfilled. So back to California dreaming. A close friend and I had always spoken about our love of California and how we’ve always wanted to move there, with nothing holding us back we decided that that was the move we needed to make. Was doing everything I needed to, stacking my savings, looking into jobs over there, submitting inquiries on condos, etc. etc. Then BOOM, what I thought was a lost love came back, and BOOM my friend who I was making this leap with told me she actually wasn’t going to be moving anymore. I was extremely disappointed by her decision to not move,but at the same time I was brought back to what else always held me back, love. So although I was happy that I was working on things with someone I had built with before, I hated the idea of going backwards. Relationship-wise, and even location-wise. I probably hated more the fact that I was willing to..

LUCKY FOR ME, that didn’t work out..

So comes September 2015 and one of my closest friends in the world is preparing for her move to Switzerland to obtain her masters. I was in awe of her. Now here is someone who just decided to go and is going and I wanted to be able to do that. And she gave me the words of encouragement that pushed me for it, simply saying “why not?”. At this point I had nothing holding me back. I wasn’t in a relationship, I wasn’t in love with my career, and I was starting to resent myself for even still being in the position (life-wise) that I was.

So with that came Spain.
I had visited Spain, and toured the country 7years ago and fell in love.  I loved the culture, I knew the language (well-enough at least), I want to work abroad and this would give me the possible networking tool to do that, and what better way to get a leg up on it than to advance my education? So then I said “why not”, I did my research in schools (tons and tons of research), applied and got accepted into a top university in Spain.

June 2016. This is my first decision that I can remember making that’s for myself in so long. And I feel so good about it. I’m excited to be starting over, doing something new, and something that’s for me, not for the possibility of a romantic end (although I’m completely for me finding my future spouse out there and staying).

I still have a chance to catch that midnight train..

6 Comments Add yours

  1. This was beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

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